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Review: Panic Room, Showtime, Pitch Black, Unbreakable ... (07 Apr 2002 at 00:53)
I saw lots of movies this spring break, and now I'm pretty sure that basically all of the movies out recently are crummy. Somehow that's OK with me, though; maybe they know that people feel good about themselves after they watch a bad movie. Anyway, let's test out the new 'review' category on Tom 7 Radar:

Showtime: Much like Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, this movie thinks that it's clever by being a movie about itself. The plot is totally superficial in order to leave time for lots of banter and physical comedy, only it's not so funny.

Panic Room: I counted only one unpredictable moment in it, and the plot was about as airtight as a tinker-toy sculpture. It's like Home Alone with more melodrama, violence, and breasts.

Unbreakable: I thought this was going to be a wrestling movie or something, from its name. I wound up kind of liking this one; it's understated, has some good moments, and has a clever ending. But god, that kid looks so much like Haley Joel Osment that you'd think they were trying to make another Sixth Sense.....

Pitch Black: I forgot I was watching this movie several times, even though it was taking up a third of my screen. It has some special effects, and some dying, and essentially that's it. Basically I've come to the conclusion that any movie with Vin Diesel is bad (ok, except Iron Giant and Saving Private Ryan). Watch the first 10 minutes of this, and then turn it off.
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