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Entries from February 2007
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How to convert your Timex Ironman™ Triathlon™ brand digital wrist watch to space time (27 Feb 2007 at 17:28)
How to convert your Timex Ironman™ Triathlon™ brand digital wrist watch to space time
1024×683 version
Ever since I showed everyone how to get a brand new space name (or several) I have been frequently asked, How can I (meaning the question asker) convert more and more of my (meaning the question asker's) lifestyle into the space age (meaning 1957)? Specifically, how can I convert my digital wrist watch to the increasingly popular space time standard (ISO/TS 16999–1:2999)? In this tutorial I will show you how to convert a commodity Timex Ironman Triathlon brand digital wrist watch to operate on space time.

The tutorial is very simple. The first step is to give your Timex a lickin'. I have had great success with lickin' my Timex by placing it in my shorts pocket and laundering it on "heavy soil" mode for 40 minutes (이임 space minutes) and then drying it on high heat (with wrinkle guard) for an additional 60 minutes (ѼӼ space minutes).

This is the only step. Now your digital wrist watch should display as above, slowly tickin' out the space seconds!
(12 comments — 5 years ago)   [ comment ]
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Crap art lesson #1: Post everything to the internet (26 Feb 2007 at 11:12)
Maybe if like me you live in the US and are only mildly aware of inane cultural happenings and can only find out about such things via the random article button on Wikipedia, you will be astounded to read the heart-warming story of how one 17 year-old's home recording of his ridiculous babbling can, in ten years' time, become a multi-million dollar industry with a series of ringtones, and #1 chart topping hits in Europe and TV series. In some ways it's just a vehicle to do techno dance revivals of already successful can't-fail pop songs like Axel F and Popcorn, but in other ways it's like a genius freeballin' version of Jordy who can't age because he's a computer animation. Yes, witness Crazy Frog.
(2 comments — 10 years ago)   [ comment ]
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Underground Onions (22 Feb 2007 at 12:22)
Gabe's brother Jesse was in town and due to their mutual interest in music and desire for bonding in a safe, obstinately supportive bedroom recording "studio", we (also Cortney and later Mike) formed the band Underground Onions and recorded the Underground Unions EP. Recommended only for mp3.tom7.org completists...

As I mentioned at the recording session, aggregate musical ability is more of a dot product than scalar multiplication.
Category:  mp3 (7 comments — almost 10 years ago)   [ comment ]
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AAD-21: Exile on Atari ST (17 Feb 2007 at 20:08)


logo Album-a-day:
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My 21st Album-a-day is now available! It's called Exile on Atari ST. The Atari ST was the computer that I grew up on... I pretty much learned to program on that thing. I think part of the reason that it took me a year to get around to making another album was that I really liked my last one and I was worried about whether I could repeat that success. I feel like this one is not as good, but then again I do always think that right after I've finished.

I also entered Songfight, which is why one of the songs is called "House of Hodgman."
Categories:  album a day  tom 7 music (31 comments — almost 3 years ago)   [ comment ]
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Hands-free cell phone (10 Feb 2007 at 17:30)
Hands-free cell phone
Here is my new invention, the hands-free cell phone. The major downside is that it interferes with binocular vision.
(18 comments — almost 7 years ago)   [ comment ]
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Back from Germany! (03 Feb 2007 at 00:26)
Hello everyone. I am writing this post 37,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean in an airplane. Last time that I was in this location the in-flight entertainment—which was a very slowly moving low resolution map that showed our progress and a few interesting and slowly changing facts about our autopilot altitude and velocity—indicated that the oudoor air temperature was a soul splintering -95° F. To imagine this temperature, first begin relaxing your mental self on the beach with basically no clothes on except for a mental bikini bottom or whatever you wear on the beach in your sexy mental self-image. Hey, toasty. Now go from 95° down to 0°F, which is 32 degrees below freezing. You aren't allowed to put any clothes on now in your imagination. That's cheating. At 32 degrees below freezing you can do stuff like pick up bananas that have fallen on the beach and hammer nails into blocks of wood with them. Quite a difference right? Now take that difference and repeat it: -95° is to 0°, naturally, what 0° is to 95° in terms of chilliness. I don't know what other kinds of things freeze enough to hammer nails into blocks of wood with at that kind of temperature, but I'm sure it includes ocean water, and anyway you've already hammered in all the nails with all the bananas, so there goes your nice imaginary tropical vacation. Plus you're nearly naked, heh heh!

Wow, gee, enough about that. This conference was good, I think, better than your average conference. I often hear from my academic advisors that the real action at a conference is not at the talks, but "in the corridors," which I think is true (at least it definitely is once you've established yourself as a researcher that people might kind of want to talk to). This meeting, which was not a publication venue so the focus was not really on talks, and also we were isolated in the middle of Nowhere, Saarland so there was basically nothing to do but go down to the wine cellar of the castle and drink and talk about various research ideas. Plus my whole entire stay including all my meals was only like €200. Danke Schön, German government!

I was happy about how receptive people were to the ideas in my thesis work. It's possible that we had almost everyone in the world who would be interested in the room, so maybe in an absolute sense that's indistinguishible from complete disinterest, but it was surely enough enthusiasm to populate a thesis defense oral. There also was a nice sense of coherence among the people doing research in this area: More groups than I thought are building "tierless" web programming languages that compile to JavaScript, and I think that they are grappling with some of the exact same issues I am, and that I have relevant and elegant type theoretic solutions to some of those problems. Hooray. I also gave a post-prandial reprise of my ICFP Programming Contest talk (by request).

Can you tell this flight is boring? I've now killed about 15 minutes out of 521.

There is literally only one thing to do in the Dagstuhl environs, which is to go to the ruins of the original Castle Dagstuhl from whatever hundred years ago. This activity takes about ten minutes. I even ran through essentially the entire town of Wadern to verify. So on Wednesday we took an excursion to Trier, the oldest city in Germany. It dates back to the year -20 or so. (If you like you can imagine how long that is by first getting naked on the beach, imagining how long ago the year 1010 was, etc.) There was a lot of cool stuff there, especially including the well preserved Roman architecture. Their ridiculously extravagant church also is where they keep Jesus's purported tunic. Carbon dating demonstrates the artifact was actually made around the same year that the chick that found it said she uncovered it (many hundred years ago) but still you'd think the thing was Ben Roethlisberger's jersey by the way they protect it: It's locked inside an air-conditioned glass case, which itself is sealed in a larger wooden box, that box inside a display case that is inside a small room that you can only just see into through a small metal gate all of which is at essentially the crux of the apse of the ridiculously extravagant church in the center of the city, and they've only taken it out 3 times in the entire 20th century. Well, whatever, I saw fake Jeeze Fleece in The Passion of the Christ so no big loss.

Trier is also home to Karl Marx's former house, which is now an eyeglass store. The store doesn't even take advantage of its previous owner's fame, by naming itself SocialEyes or something like that, it was just called "Martin Optik," I think. I was a little tempted to get the socialists to fix my snapped in half eyeglasses, but then maybe I wouldn't have been able to answer certain questions truthfully when returning through passport control in the US. But in Trier I also saw a store specializing in models, like model Flugzeugs und Bahns und dinosaurs, in which I finally found some superglue. This was a little tricky because even though I knew they'd have it, the bottle was labeled "Skin" not "Superglue" and the back label was covered up by the price tag, and then when I peeled it off it said "Cyana acryl." instead of "cyanoacrylate" but I was able to figure it out and buy it without the guy figuring out that I wasn't German even though he probably spoke English anyway. And then of course I've already broken them again on this plane trip.

Germans love board games. They are the kings of board games, and not stupid shit like Chutes und Ladders, simple but really deep board games especially of the strategic sort that computer scientists like. Let's say that naked Germans on a beach are to board games what naked Japanese on a beach are to video games. When I was there I spotted 6 Nimmt!, which is a game I've actually played at Schloß Spopix; in America it is imported as a game about hurricanes called Category 5 that, despite some fluff text, has nothing to do with hurricanes. (I didn't play because I don't actually think that game is that good, at least from the one time I played it, even though it's like a Spiel des Jahres winner I think.) I was hoping to spot a cool expansion pack or something for Settlers of Catan, which we have been playing a lot of recently, but no dice so to speak.

The thing that sucked about Trier was that when we got on the bus to go to the wine tasting/dinner that followed on our itinerary, the bus driver drove us all the way back to Dagstuhl and then was like oops, I forgot to bring you to the wine tasting place. So then we had to drive all the way back to Trier and we were really late and hangry and I didn't drink any wine anyway. But I guess that's not a thing about Trier, that's a thing about our bus driver. You suck, driver.

Oh, the last thing is probly not news to any of you blogosphere readers but I had a good chuckle at the news about how Boston thought that these lite-up ads for the upcoming Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie were bombs. I don't know why they think that a bomb would light up, or have cartoon characters on it. In particular this clueless local report is very funny to watch, especially the part where they use a water cannon on the device to "render it safe."

That is all! In 6 or 7 hours I will be back in Pittsburgh and more or less ready to see you folks again (unless you are one of the people who is visiting my web-site after meeting me at Dagstuhl, in which case the opposite) and for some Superbowling, at least after a nice night's rest!
Category:  favorites (11 comments — almost 10 years ago)   [ comment ]
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